I ramble incessantly about Doctor Who, books, David Tennant, and Harry Potter. It's a hell of a ride.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010



Billie Joe mooned us twice, so that was an improvement from when I saw them in Boston. I love him so much.
It was all-around epic and basically Green Day is the best band in the universe.
When I saw MCR in concert, it was awesome because I love MCR. But Green Day... man, they blow all other bands out of the water. They've been doing this for 22 years, and it frikkin' shows.
This is one band that doesn't eff around. They put on a fantastic show and you better love every second of it.
Plus, it helps that their music is complete and utter artwork. For serious.
And, um. Billie Joe is gorgeous.

Anyway, that's all! I'm in pain and such. But I'll live. IT WAS WORTH IT. TENFOLD.


Monday, August 30, 2010

Green Day


Imma see Green Day tonight!!!! I'm really excited. 8D

Anyway, I know my last post was long and probably boring. Sorry. XD

I have extreme writer's block. But I thought you might be interested in a Doctor Who story I wrote about the Time War, and the Doctor's regeneration into Nine.
Here is ze linkage: CLICK ME. I dunno if you'll be able to read it without a deviantART account... *shrugs* If you wanna read it and can't, then tell me and I'll post it here.

I got a new Doctor Who book, The Taking of Chelsea 426. It's not bad so far.
ALSO I finished Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins the other day. It's the last Hunger Games book and holy shiz, guys. It made me cry.

YAY that's all for now.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Breaking down Twilight: the book series that defines our generation?

Twilight: one of the most popular books of my generation; inspired hundreds of ripoffs full of Immortals, Fallen Angels, Vampires, Werewolves, Shape-shifters, and the like. Grew into an enormous fanbase full of shrieking twelve-through-twenty-year-old fangirls.

The first time I read Twilight, I was hooked. Like many others in my age group, I fell in love with Edward Cullen, Jacob Black, and the drama that followed.

Now, however, I can hardly read the books without choking on the poop that is dripping off the pages.

...okay, maybe that's a little extreme. But it can't be denied that Stephenie Meyer's writing leaves something to be desired.

I often wonder, when I pick up my copy of the Twilight saga, what it was that drew me in, what has drawn in so many others. I remember what I always gushed about whenever discussing it with friends:

1. The romantic (read: freakishly stalkerish and controlling, possessive, dry, emotionless, really creepy) qualities of Edward Cullen.
2. How I could connect with Bella (oh yes, I could connect with the obsessive need for self-punishment.)
3. Jacob's sexy abs. (Okay, this one hasn't changed. Hot damn.)

When I first read the story, I was sucked into the emotions: falling for Edward along with Bella, shouting obscenities when he left her in New Moon, rooting for Jacob in Eclipse, and nomming pillows in Breaking Dawn.

But now, all I can see are the glaring errors and faults. Bella's a glutton for misery, and her favorite words are beautiful, topaz, and dazzling. Her heart seems to be able to perform superhuman feats, such as stopping randomly, beating so loud it is audible, and tapping out beats so complex they could be the drum track for a new pop song. And let us not forget her ever-present chagrin.

But Stephenie obviously had something. Because Twilight is a pop culture icon, the star of the show and (sadly) what my generation will likely be remembered for. Somewhere in the twisted fantasy of a grown-up woman's dreams about an eternally-seventeen-year-old sparkling sex god, there was a nugget of marketability.

But what is it?

A lot of people try to compare Twilight and Harry Potter, arguing over which is better. *coughHARRYPOTTERcough*

No, I kid (Well, I do think HP is better, but...). It's like trying to compare Titanic and The Blair Witch Project. One is a romantic drama. One is an freaky horror flick. Two completely different genres, two completely different subject matters.

Same goes for Harry Potter and Twilight. HP is focused on action, an epic adventure and truly a quest novel: hearkening back to The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; Lord of the Rings; and Star Wars.

Twilight is a romance, not as focused on moving forward a quest or epic; more focused on the growing lust (I refuse to call that relationship love) between two characters.

Elmore Leonard has 10 rules of writing. Let's see how many of these rules Twilight follows or breaks:

1. Never open a book with weather.
Twilight has a lot of focus on weather, almost an overdose, I'd say. Sorry, Stephenie, I'm pretty sure you break this one.

2. Avoid prologues.
Prologues, prequels, ect. All are bad in Leonard's mind. Sadly, I disagree with him... I like prologues. However, Stephenie's "prologue" is more of a glimpse into the future, rather than the past. So I'll give her this one.

3. Never use a verb other than "said" to carry dialogue.
I'm pretty sure Twilight breaks this rule several times over. Let me grab my copy to check... lied, insisted, urged, announced, prompted... yeah, this one's a no.

4. Never use an adverb to modify the verb "said."
Hmm... sheepishly, gruffly, reluctantly... This one's not too bad, but still. However, I don't have too much of an issue with adverbs. So. I guess it's okay.

5. Keep your exclamation points under control.
Are you kidding me? Bella talks in a monotone. Edward is Mr. Gruff. Stephenie, you get a win for this one.

6. Never use the words "suddenly" or "all hell broke loose."
I'm going to say she's broken this rule. I'm pretty sure she's used "suddenly" a few times. So have I, but you know what, I'm trying to change that.

7. Use regional dialect, patois, sparingly.
I think she gets an okay for this, actually. They're all English-speaking white people. (Except Jacob, and she doesn't change his dialect at all.)

8. Avoid detailed descriptions of characters.
Okay, sorry, but this is the biggest FAIL ever in Twilight. Bella spends an entire paragraph describing herself, and Stephenie awkwardly works in descriptions of everyone else; it's very unnecessary.

9. Don't go into great detail describing places and things.
Yeah, another fail. How many times does Bella talk about the trees, the rain, the moss, the rain, the roads, the rain...?

10. Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip.
Stephenie is very much into descriptions and dragging things out--the action didn't happen in Twilight until page 380! Sorry, no cigar.

So, needless to say, Twilight has its own set of rules; but I can't help but respect Stephenie Meyer and her bizarre ability to get 4 best-selling novels out of this drivel.

But I still blame her for the poorly-spelled hate mail that attacks anyone who says they're not a fan of sparkling vampires and marble chests.


Tuesday, August 17, 2010


aka Time Lord Rock!

aka songs about Doctor Who.
It's my new favorite genre.

Yes. I am a huge nerd.

My favorite songs are all by Chameleon Circuit:
-K9's Lament
-Exterminate, Regenerate

They're all really awesome. Shipwrecked is sad, Blink is bouncy and fun, K9's Lament is strangely sad and amusing, and Exterminate Regenerate is just winnish.

Anyway, I started school today! Woop woop. I'm quite pleased with it so far. Physics is awesomeeeee. 8)

That's all for now... remember, kids: COMMENTS ARE YUMMY AND GOOD FOR THE SOUL.


Thursday, August 12, 2010

schedules, fanfics, and back pain!

Firstly, I start school on Tuesday. BY RASSILON, WHAT IS THIS SCHOOL YOU SPEAK OF??? What, you mean I can't sleep in till noon and spend the remaining hours of sunlight drawing fan art and then staying up till one in the morning writing and reading fan fiction!? WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS????
Okay, so maybe I've grown used to summer. -__-" But let it be known I have the shortest summer EVER; the schools in Maine get out later than the schools here, and the schools here start earlier than the schools in Maine. So my summer is a lot shorter than it will be next year. *headdesks*
Oh well. After much madness and fiddling, I got my 11th-grade schedule down. Wanna see it? Sure you do!

Zero Hour: Lit & Rhetoric
1A: Creative Writing
2B: Geometry
3A: Govt./Econ.
4B: French 1-2
5A: Drawing I
6B: Physics
7AB: Theater Productions I

I'm pretty pleased with it! Zero Hour and 7th I have every day, and then Tuesdays+Thursdays I have B, and Mondays+Fridays I have A. Wednesdays I have all my classes, but shortened. XD It's complex, innit?

Anyway, I'm a little spastic about Physics. I was supposed to be in Chemistry this year, but it didn't work with my schedule. The two other choices were Anatomy and Physics. But if I took Anatomy, I couldn't take Creative Writing. So, Physics it was. Since I'm taking Geometry at the same time as Physics (you're supposed to have finished Geo before taking Physics), I may have some issues, but I'm willing to give it a go. Plus, every time I look at my schedule I think of The Doctor in the beginning of School Reunion: "Physics. Physicsphysicsphysics... are you getting this all down?"

Moving on to the next topic of conversation... FAN FICTION. Remember that fanfic I talked about last entry? well, the first 3 chapters are up on deviantART right now! Here is the linkage to my page:


And finally, my back is having a spasm of pain. It hurrrrts.
Also, Gir (from Invader Zim) is my favorite thing ever. I want one. In case you were wondering what to get me for Christmas.

All right, that's all for now! Adieu, my dearlings.

P.S. Now the word "physics" doesn't look like a real word.... >.<

Monday, August 9, 2010

you're the handsome wizard that I'd want an extension from

Howdy, dear readers (who probably forgot about me...)!

Lots of things to talk about... I went to Texas with some friends this last week. The 16-hour car rides would have killed me without the lovely TV in the car, which leads me to my first topic: movies.
I watched most of Alice in Wonderland (2010)... up until when the Hatter is about to be beheaded but then it's actually Cheshire... then I fell asleep. XD
I liked it for the most part, but I thought it moved too fast and didn't make a lot of sense most of the time. Which I guess is part of the point. Whatever.

I also finally saw Will Smith's I Am Legend. I gotta say, I didn't like it nearly as much as I thought I would. I loved Smith's character and the doggie and all, but I felt like it too moved really fast. I also hated the ending. The random woman and son were weird additions to the plot and I felt no emotion towards them. I wouldn't have cared if they died. I didn't like that they survived and ended the movie, because they weren't important in my opinion. It would have been more redeeming, to me, if Will Smith had survived, because goddamn he deserved it!

Anyway, I've recently become obsessed with the Paramore song Misguided Ghosts. It's actually inspired me to write a new Doctor Who fan fiction. The premise is that it is about a year and a half since Donna and Shaun's wedding; for the Doctor, it is after Amy and Rory leave (I'm sure they will at some point). Basically, the Doctor (11) runs into Donna and fixes her (using the Chameleon Arch... it's pretty ingenious.) and they go off and travel. It's pretty awesome so far in my opinion. The fic will be called Misguided Ghosts, after the song. Go listen, it's really amazing.

As for DOYC, if you're interested, I'm having a major roadblock. Taylor Swift and Grey's Anatomy have interfered with my ability to write alien-type epics and now it's basically a hospital drama show in space. >.<

Also, for any Starkid/Harry Potter/Very Potter Musical fans, I saw A Very Potter Sequel! In some ways I think it was better than the original. I liked the storyline so much, and even though there weren't many songs every one was amazing. When I listen to the AVPM soundtrack, I only listen to a few songs. But every song in AVPS is one I listen to.

I must say, I missed Voldie and Quirrell, but Umbridge was the most amazing thing ever. I loved Snape's role, and Lupin was just brilliant. I also adore Brian Rosenthal as Seamus. His hat was so CUTE!

This one was a lot more dramatic and serious at times, which I actually liked. The laughs were okay, but the only time I actually laughed out loud so hard I needed to pause the video was when Snape was talking to Harry and... well, boobies. XD

Anyway, that's about all for now. Go to my deviantART, I posted a couple cool poem thingies about Doctor Who! Woot.

Also, I drew a couple kisses from Doctor Who. The best one was Doctor/Martha from Smith and Jones. I'll try and post 'em on my deviantART at some point.

Well, that's it for real. Goodnight!


"I'm the boy who lived, not the boy who DIED."

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Audrey writes a western

Hey guys, remember in my writing meme how I said I'd never write a western?

a western by Audrey Hawkes

MY NAME IS Cowboy Bill. I ride the desert land on my palomino named Giddyup. Her name causes some confusion, because whenever I call out t' her she starts a'running off.

One day I was riding Giddyup into a small town. The locals were all gatherin' in the saloon, and, being a cowboy and all, I joined 'em for a good mug of whiskey and a dollop of local gossip.

The talk of the town was all about a so-called Bad Cowboy Bob, who was riding through towns and robbing banks, shooting sheriffs, and causing all other types a' mischief. I tipped back my hat and said in a deep cowboy voice, "I can take care of him for y'all."

The group of folks went mad with applause, but the barmaid Rosie-Ann looked downright unhappy about it. I moseyed my way over to her and said, "Hey darlin', what's the matter with ya? Why the long face, cowpoke?"

She sighed sadly and stared into the distance. "I just hate t' see such good young men lose their lives to the rascally devil Bad Cowboy Bob." Tears filled her eyes and she said to me, "Y'all will be careful, won't ya?"

I smiled at her and leaned in close. "Fer you darlin', I'll be invincible."
Then I kissed her straight on th' lips.

Just then, Bad Cowboy Bob burst into the saloon. He took one look at me an' Rosie-Ann, and let out a roar of rage. He fired three shots at the saloon ceilin' and yelled, "Get away from my wife, ya damn snakebelly!"


There you go, I wrote a western. Shall I continue this tale of adventure and shootouts? Or shall I leave it to rot in a miserable corner of cyberspace?